Earn $1000’s daily! Its the perfect combination. No one suspects a jogger of criminality. I can run right up to someone, take their wallet, and cleanly run away without anyone blinking an eye. Then, as my stamina improves, i can continue doing the same thing 10 minutes later a few blocks away. Suited up today in my spandex/nylon gear, I came home with 7 new watches, 4 purses, cash, prizes, various prescription medications and a new dog i’ve named cuddler.
The stuffing factor is a major influence on my efforts to keep slim. The more running i do, the more watches and money clips i can keep disguised around my abdomen discretely. Essentially the more money i make, the healthier i get.
Some people engaged in the new sport even get creative with its fundamentals. A fellow mogger who owned an apartment building was having trouble evicting a no-good tenant. Timing the tenant’s movements. He moggered him in the park one evening, stabbing him several times. The tenant now has a very small basement apartment on the outskirts of town, and my friend is doing marathons.
Wear a fanny pack. People won’t realize its for loot storage, they’ll just figure you’re serious and a loser.
Dress appropriately. Cops know criminals wear all black, black and white stripes, or orange prison coveralls. No one wearing fluorescent has committed a crime since the eighties.
Wear a motivational slogan on your shirt; help the people you’re stealing from learn something. Maybe if they’d been “unsatisfied with second place” they’d still have a wallet.
Hold rolls of nickles in your fists. Its cheaper than wrist weights and makes for great knock-out punches.
Bring a watch, a small water bottle and a music player- all can be used as weapons in a pinch.
Look out for other moggers. Get them before they get you!
Pushing a baby carriage or faking that you’re pregnant can provide extra storage space for big hauls.
Carry an emergency whistle. After the grab, blow it while running away, observers will think you’re the victim.
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