For years I’ve proudly had no cell phone. I find something very unnatural and ridiculous about it. Call it whatever the hell you like, its very odd to walk around talking to yourself holding a chunk of plastic against your head. . . . Two people talking in the cafe: “Hold that thought friend, i have something very important to take care of” promptly interrupting the conversation for 3 minutes to hold a salt shaker against her knee and sing to herself.
Ok, I’m not here to complain about cell phones today, only to point out how they will one day be required by law. Its not as draconian as it sounds, and it will seem a perfectly logical step in an obvious progression.
Convergence. At one time there were clocks and radios. Then, someone got the bright idea of cramming a clock into a radio, the clock radio was born. Further genius would see the clock radio getting itself jammed into all sorts of other devices- your car, your stove, your furniture, even the thing that holds your soap in the shower would wind up with a clock radio in it. Eventually, we wised up and realized the clock radio was the item we really wanted and started cramming other devices into our clock radios: calculators, phones, computers, tv’s- everything was assimilated. Today, we call these super clock radios ‘cells’ and we’ve made them portable and disposable. We love it! Make it smaller, give it more capabilities. The logical progression? Your pocket items will converge for your convenience. Cell phones will devour everything you carry daily.
Your money will go into your cell; using it at the checkout will be ordinary. Your keys will go into your cell- unlock your car/home with a key code. Bus pass, self defence, personal grooming, they could even invent a cell with simulated cigarette smoke. Its almost limitless! But, of all the things in your pocket, one thing has a significantly different legal status- your ID.
In many countries, you are legally required to carry ID. Driving a car, carrying a weapon? Depending what you’re doing, the need for ID is even more likely. You legally need a licence to drive, so if driver’s licences are absorbed into cell phones, you then legally need a cell phone to drive.
Who pays for the phone? You (although there will likely be some sort of state provided poverty alternative). We’re obligated to have car insurance at our own expense. We’re obligated to wear clothing in public at our own expense. We’re obligated to have ID and pay to have it replaced. You will be obligated to purchase a cell phone. . . .Luckily, with the direction of technological progress, these mandatory phones will break weekly or even daily and need replacement at the user’s expense.
And you thought YOU got roped into a long contract!
Next generation device, the button-less ephone you embed in your forehead.
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